Reasons to get pregnant

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I like being pregnant because I can send my ex (the one who I still sleep with and whose mum cooks us dinner when he’s in town) 25 messages at a time and not feel any shame or regret. This is actually an excellent, although possibly unhealthy, reason to consider abstaining from contraception. An example below.

I like being pregnant because you can watch Celebs Go Dating every evening and not have any social life and it’s absolutely fine. You don’t get told off for not drinking or for being boring or for going home at 7.30pm because it’s bedtime really soon.

A good reason to get pregnant is that you can blame being awful at your job on baby brain! I started my job 5 months pregnant so no one knows that I’m clueless even without the hormones and shrinking brain (apparently your brain shrinks).

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